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Come back

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Come back

I open my eyes and I see you. I think I see you. Not now. I go back to the depth, so dark, so monotonous, so peacefully… I see you again, I think. Distorted images. Yes, I see you, it’s you, I think. Color patches. I fan my eyelashes so the air refreshes my sight. Sweet silhouette that rises in front of me. Perfect, I think. Something gets closer to me. Something white and long, with one, two, three, four, five… oh! Her hand. I feel the fervent touch that glides softly towards my cheek, and I feel that I faint, once again, in the flames. I burn up! Darkness.

I’m trapped, no strength. I look one way and the other, and all I see the dark inside of my thoughts. What should I do? Shall I try again? Yes, there I go. I lift my heavy eyelids like if they were blinds, letting that wild ray of light pierce, burn my eyes like her hand in my cheek. I feel now a warm breeze that stealthily sinks my ear. It says something. What is it? Oh! “Hello”. I smiled, or at least I thought. Once again. I can’t understand what she is saying! Too many emotions together. White, Silhouettes, sounds, caress, warm… Darkness.

I come to my sense, stronger, powerful. What has happened? I open my eyes at once. I can’t see anything! What’s wrong? I feel how a tiny tear shows over my eye and streams down my face, colliding in my fervent cheek. Another one. I look everywhere: darkness. But, what’s that? Red. Lines. They go up and down. A constant sound. “Beep” “Beep” “Beep” “Beep”… It remains. Up and down; up and down.

I see! I’m sure that I see! I smile! I’m sure that I smile! I try to move my stunted muscles but I can’t. I try again. I moved an arm! I think. No, I’m sure I did because I’m seeing it. Is white and bony but, what’s that? It has like black patches. Or are they red? No, I think… I don’t know. I don’t care neither. Now I’m touching my… my hair? Where is it? Where did it go? I guess it will grow again.

I look around me and I can’t see anything but those red lines that jump and plunge into space. Again and again. They don’t get tired? I now try to move my body. I can’t. I try again. I can’t! I feel like I have a huge rock pressing my body. Like if I was glued to the bed. Why? Why can’t I move? Is useless. Every minute that goes by I feel heavier, weaker. I give up. I look at heaven, or the ceiling, and I close my eyes, sinking in the depth of myself. I swim freely through memories, the good ones and the bad ones. Mum cooking…, Professor Ennis explaining civil rights…, Michelle…, the Eiffel Tower…, the Big Ben…, being late to the trial…, a blue car… White!

I’m sweating and gasping. I turn right, then left. I am… Where am I? I see a screen. Those red light again. What are they? Numbers? 100, 96, 91, 88, 84, 80… I’m laying down, like a death body in its coffin. I’m wearing a blue pajama and I’m naked. A strong sound hits the room. I turn my eyes to the door and I see a fat woman coming in. She is wearing a green uniform and says something:

“Good morning Mr. Fletcher. How are you feeling? It’s being eighteen long years. It will take you long to get used to life again. I’ll call your wife”.

A wife? I am married? I can’t remember. I sink on purpose into my thoughts, closing fiercely my eyelids, but I memories don’t appear. I try again: nothing, Michelle. Who is Michelle? Yellow, bells, cake, baby, Michelle. No connection!

I see a blonde, slender, pale face, long arms, rosy lips that outline a simple smile, between joy and sadness. Michelle. She seats in my bed and caress my cheek. I feel again that burning fervor. She is talking to me:

“Hi John, it’s me, Michelle, your wife. You just woke up from a come. Eighteen years” Her smile disappears and I see how pain and sadness arises from her eyes. “After the accident I had the baby, the one we were waiting for. Remember? And I rebuild my life…”

I hear her voice lower and lower. My sight blurs. I see dots. I can’t hear her. White. More White. A tunnel of light, so bright, so magnificent. It embraces me.

 “beep” “beeeep”  “beeeeeeeep” “beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…”

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